Friday, October 10, 2014

When it Comes to Relationships, Do We Really Need Closure?

The saying goes that when a door closes, leave it shut. But, in matters of love, what if that nagging feeling that you just need one more peek to see what you left behind, won't go away?

This saying applies easily to relationships. When one ends, especially badly, never getting the closure you need can only tug at your mind, filling it with what-ifs: What if he hates me? What could I have done better? What if I try one last time and talk to him?

Closure is important after the ending of any relationship, but the question is: do we really need it?

Some people who are more than pleased to wipe their hands clean of a relationship may say no, but what about the rest of us? What about those who feel as though they need that closure in order to signal that it's OK to move on?

It's going to be different for everyoneI personally don't like leaving a relationship with loose ends or on bad terms, with the person hating and never wanting to speak with me again. It's animosity that can eat away at a person and make them feel as though things are truly never finished. 

So, it's up to you to decide if you want closure or not, but if you do, here are a few options:

Write a letter, but don't send it

This is easily one of the best ways to be as honest as you possibly can. It's a letter where you get to put your heart on the page and, if you drink enough wine, you might actually send it. Just in case, though, have a friend nearby. 

Learn to accept that the relationship didn't work, it's not your fault and move on

Not all relationships work, accept that. Think for a moment now at your past relationships and you may just have a few that never ended well, but now, with time, you healed. Acceptance is key here; don't resist the nagging feeling that you need closure, simply accept and trust that you will eventually be OK. 

Reach out for contact with the person

Before using this option, be aware and prepared that he or she may not want to hear what you have to say. You can't go into it with high expectations, so go into the situation, doing it for yourself. If you have to, even block them after sending your message so that you can't see if they responded or not. Just be happy that you said your peace. 

Friday, October 3, 2014

How Being Single has Revolutionized

You tell em', Carrie. 

Back in the days when every girl’s favourite show, Sex and the City, was on, being ‘single’ was coined as the equivalent of walking around with a big stamp on your forehead that said, ‘I'm desperate, love me!’

Now, in today’s much more revolutionized society, being single means you're free and have no one to worry about but yourself. 

You're single and fabulous, exclamation point.

Before, being single meant being alonetoday, there's a difference. We've gotten so wrapped up in the term 'single,' that we've decided it means being lonely and desperate.

And with all of these online dating options so readily available to find men, if we don't exercise any of them, we're able to fall into the category of making the choice to be singlesomething that society never truly recognized before. 

If you want to sit at a restaurant alone, all you need is a good book or your cell phone to keep you occupied. If you visit home for the holidays sans a date, that's okay, you'll find the right person someday.

You may look back one day on your old flames and have regrets, but if you do settle into a long-term committed relationship, at least you can look back and know that you've gotten the single life out of your system. 

Of course, being single isn't always all rainbows and butterflies. After all, the grass is always greener on the other side, so those single girls may soon see couples in the street and long for a relationship. As Miranda from Sex and the City wisely said that we bitch when we’re single and bitch when we’re not.

But, for now, the most important thing that we can celebrate is that being single is no longer a death sentence. You won't turn into a cat lady or die alone, and one day, when your heart is truly ready, you will find someone who knows that you're fabulous no matter what, exclamation point.

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