Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Drunken Stupor: Don't be "That" Girl at the Party

Talk about a trainwreck

From Tierra's LiCausi's uncontrollable eyebrow to the drunk mess that was Victoria Lima on Monday night's episode of the Bachelor, viewers at home can always count on there being at least one lunatic who's at the centre of the drama. 

It's great for the show's ratings, but torture for the poor soul who has to endure her mistakes over again and, oh yeah, the whole world gets a front row seat to watch it unfold, too. Talk about pressure, right?

Well, Monday's episode of the Bachelor got me thinking to some of those nights where I got sloppy drunk and became that girl. You know, the one who stumbles around, barely speaking English and who explains to each lovely soul who helped that, "I'm never like this, you have to believe me; I never get this drunk." But, of course, it was much less comprehensible than that. 

Now, I can admit those times, albeit how embarrassing they are, because I'm sure that you, my lovely readers, have had similar experiences. Being "that" girl is never fun, so to help you skip the next-day shame and help you be the life of the party, not the hot mess, follow these tips. 

If you feel like you're beyond drunk, find a safe way home:

This is the simplest way to avoid ending up in a drunk tank overnight. But while you're in this drunken state, you probably won't be in the right sense of mind to make the decision to go home. Instead, enlist your close friends with the task of knowing when you've reached your limit, calling you a cab and making sure you end up safely at your destination.

Drink water and eat something. Stat.

When you're beyond drunk and feel like you need to reverse some of the damage, the best and easiest solution is to drink a shit ton of water and eat something like bread or crackers; these foods will absorb the alcohol in your stomach.

Sometimes you just have to throw up...

It's pretty embarrassing, but sometimes you simply have to do it. If you've become a hot mess and truly do feel sick, throwing up will make you feel a million times better. If you're embarrassed of people knowing, let your friends know and hopefully they will cover for you while you finish your business.

Now, the true test will be if you can remember all of this useful information the next time that you are white-girl-wasted. Safe drinking, ladies!


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